joy to my world

I can't sleep tonight. It's sick: I should be sleeping. My husband is asleep. My daughter is asleep (!). And what am I doing but laying in bed with my eyes wide open like a little kid on Christmas eve. I'm not sure what is happening to me, for heaven's sake. Maybe I'm getting a new superpower with which I don't need sleep anymore. I hope so!

Anyway, I just have to write and say how disgustingly happy I am. It's sick. I love my little family so much and with all of our struggles and trials and tribulations, all the things that are happening in our lives and the lives of our families, we're still together. We're still here; we're still safe. We still love each other.

There's not much more you can ask from life than a husband who loves you and will listen to you and the cutest sweetest little girl as a daughter. When I was about 8 months pregnant, it was getting into the later part of spring and Ben and I decided to go out to dinner. We had an entertainment coupon (which I don't think we even remembered to use...what a ripoff!) to this little place with live music. Okay, when we arrived and were seated I literally could not fit into the table where they sat us, I was so big and pregnant. There was this wall of tables really close together and seriously there wasn't room for me to squeeze my belly behind the table. As if that wasn't enough, the waitstaff--and I do mean the entire waitstaff--was all women. All very young women (i.e. girls of about 21 or so). All very skinny, gorgeous, hot, smokin' women with little tiny tops on and skintight jeans. And implants. And I was feeling even better about myself and my big belly not being able to fit behind a table, as you can imagine, after seeing them.

There I was, sweating, tired, HUGE, uncomfortable, in this little restaurant with all these hottie sexy waitresses trying to find us a table into which I would fit, seriously, when I had an epiphany. Here I was, wishing like hell that I looked like Candi or Bambi or Staci with their tiny outfits and hot bodies. When I realized (and if you are male reading this, this is true--take it from me and all other women out there) that every single one of those girls wished she were me--all of them would have given an implant to be happily married to a great guy with a baby on the way. And although I still wanted to wake up in one of their bodies, it did help me get through the rest of the night.

So here I am at my computer late in the night (for us, it's really only 11 but when you never sleep...), writing to anyone who will hear that I have it really good. I know this. If you're reading this take a quick second to think about how good you have it, too. Sometimes in life you have to have those little moments that make you say, hey, woah, this is awesome. And sometimes they have to come late in the night. I hope I can help you have one. Because it's a good life, eh?