Cicada song

CICADAS! This must be their time of year. They're all hatching, crawling out of the ground (extremely creepily, mind you) in their shells and then shedding them and crawling out, letting their wings dry. They're maybe 2-3 inches long and gross. And they make that crazy noise, that cricket-like loud motorized noise waaay up in the trees. But then again, this is the time of year that everyone lives for, the mid- (to late-) summer, where the weather is nice (thank you, global warming, for the 75-and-not-90-degree late July) and the cicadas and birds are singing together as the sun sets. It's nice enough to have a fire, or dinner outside, and sit idly by while your daughter plays in the sandbox or swings on the swing. I take a deep breath. Which reminds me of...

Christmas shopping! And what Helena is going to be for Halloween. And when are we ever going to get a new kitchen going in this house? And should I go back to school? Which reminds me of...

How we need to slow down. In reading two of my very best friends' blogs today, I saw that both of them--at very, very different times and points in their lives, right now--both of them wrote about needing to slow down and enjoy what we've got. Right now. With no other topics, just enjoying a book on the porch, or the sunrise on the horizon.

How come I'm not a Hollywood writer/producer? Do they have to be a size 0 too? Because I have this great idea for a movie. It comes from a true story, something that happened to me. I was sitting on the couch one day, with my mom, and talking to her about my life. About our house, whether we should sell it or just stay here in the mire, in the middle of the cliff in Pittsburgh with no driveway and a million steps. And about Ben and his work, work, work all the time. And Helena's turning 2 and what her life is like right now, and whether or not we want to begin trying again for another child. And my life, and career, and now somewhat lack of career. And I looked at my mom and said, "I just don't know what to do with my life."

And she laughed!

Later on, hours later actually, we were washing up from dinner when I said to her, "why did you laugh at me?" She said, "you have a million things going on, and you're married and you own a home, and a yard, and you're trying to pay off all your debt and you're right in the middle of having a family and you are staying at home and raising your child. And you want to know what to do with your life?"

Well, it got me thinking. Maybe this is IT. I mean that in a good way, not like "Oh crap, is this IT??!" More like, oh yeah, this IS it. This IS what my life is. And if I can just enjoy that, each little day and hour, then I won't regret it at all. In 30 years I'll be trying to tell my own kids. Take a little time. Enjoy those damn cicadas.